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Over the years, society has changed and so has its needs. Mom, who used to be the nurturing, always-there figure at home, has moved out of this archetypal space and carved out a niche for her little ones and self.

With this decision of hers, she has to juggle between time, space and responsibilities, and most times, lean to a third figure to ensure that her child is in good hands. The evolving times have, therefore, given birth to the second mother figure, the third parent—the teacher—and slowly, the ma’ams are taking over the role of moms. 

 “I feel that teachers are like surrogate mothers. In fact, some moms now request our teachers, ‘could you please tell my child to have milk, he doesn’t listen to me. He listens only to you.’ This shows today’s teachers are loving, friendly and extremely patient,” says Manika Sharma, Principal, The Shri Ram School, Vasant Vihar.

Mothers couldn’t agree more. About the parent-teacher rapport, Mita Bhan, a tarot reader and mother, says: “One day, when my son reached home from school, I saw this message pinned on his shirt: ‘He has a rash behind his ear, but it does not itch or hurt’. My respect for the teacher increased three-folds looking at her sincerity towards the profession. I realised that the teachers are as involved as parents today.”

Interestingly, children have started opening up more to teachers these days. “As children grow up, they tend to take their mothers for granted and look up to teachers for advice. A teacher can do justice here as he/she can give a rational reasoning without being emotional,” says Goldy Malhotra, Principal, Modern School, Vasant Vihar. Malhotra, however, holds a different opinion about teachers playing the role of a surrogate mother.

“A mother can’t be a teacher always and a teacher can be a mum. The roles may overlap but can’t be taken over,” she says. Corroborating her view is this young mother. “Teachers may render a level of comfort to parents, but can’t really take over the role. If a mother is at home, then the child tends to be more secure, verbally articulate and less spoilt,” says Anshu Sud.

However, academicians reassure that it really isn’t all about working or non-working mothers. Anuradha Grover, a single parent and a teacher with Laxman Public School, says that it is all about balancing time.

“I play a dual role, a teacher in school and a parent at home, and have done full justice to both. It’s about quality time. In school, I have seen problem kids, who are raised by maids despite mothers staying at home,” she says.

In fact, most schools have counsellors to tackle children with dysfunctional families, attention-deficits etc. “School is more like a second home to a child. We, as a family, listen to the child’s problem and if it is too complex, then a counsellor steps in and a meeting is held with the parents,” says Sr Nirmalini, Principal, Carmel Convent, Chanakyapuri.

Shibani Budhiraja, a mother of a 7-year-old, shares her special experience. “Teachers are so involved in your child’s development that sometimes you are in for a pleasant surprise. While I used to think my son is mischievous, his teacher told me that he is very attentive and disciplined. This made me feel proud,” she says.

Ask D M Sharma, Principal, G D Goenka School, Vasant Kunj, about the student-teacher rapport and this is what he has to say. “It’s all about having a friendly approach. My  students send me e-mails whenever they wish to voice an opinion and I encourage them to do so. It’s all about connecting with children.”

At the end of the day, it’s a three-way handshake. Surrogate moms, third parent, call them as it pleases you, but in today’s scenario teachers seem to be holding the apex position in the parent-teacher-child triangle.

Email Author:malini.menon@hindustantimes.com